I was showering today and wondering how I could explain to you BETAA students the process you were going through to get your degree. Then, as I started to wash my hair I glanced at the back of the shampoo bottle and noticed the directions: Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Did you ever wonder why these words appear on the back of your bottle of shampoo? Maybe you never stopped to notice. If you noticed, did you think about why they were there? No? I thought so. Lather, rinse , repeat. Simple directions, pretty obvious even. Come on, most people should know what to do with shampoo, right? Well, no. some people don’t know, so the shampoo company covers its butt by placing product usage instructions on the packaging, which, by the way, is required by law here in Obamaland. Now then why didn’t the manufacturer just instruct the user to just Lather then Rinse? Aha, good point. The Repeat makes the shampoo go faster hence, (in theory) the user will run out and buy more (of that brand of) shampoo. Simple product marketing. Now how does this tie in with you BETAA students? Lets deal with the Lather. Lathering can be equated to studying. Just as you massage your wet hair with the soapy water, you massage your brain with the books. The more you massage (in theory) your hair, the cleaner your hair gets and the more you massage (in theory) your brain with the books, the smarter your brain gets. Now, lets deal with the Rinse. To rinse your hair you just stick your head under the running water and your done. Your brain, however, gets rinsed when you stick your butt in a chair and take an exam. Kinda puts a whole new spin on the meaning of brainwashing , don’t you think? Now let’s deal with the Repeat. When we examine the Repeat during the process of shampooing, we quickly realize that this step only really benefits the shampoo manufacturer, who, in reality, hopes you stand in the shower, use up the entire bottle their shampoo then rush out to Path-Mark or Shop-Rite and purchase another bottle of their product. Repeat for the shampoo process is not really necessary. When we examine the Repeat step during the studying process we quickly realize that this step only really benefits you the BETAA student. The repeat step in the studying process is vitally important. The student gets nowhere at all if the Repeat step is not performed. So, here we are, at a point where we can confidently sum up your entire college career with the directions on the back of a shampoo bottle:
Lather: Absorb specific knowledge and information.
Rinse: Regurgitate said knowlege and information at specific time points during your carrer
Repeat: Lather and Rinse until you graduate.
See, that was easy. now you know everything you need to know to be successful in college. You can thank me after you graduate and get that 75K/yr. job that is just waiting for you in the real world. wink, wink. :p
Today is Veterans Day. Thank a veteran today if you can.
Thanks for your attention.